have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
