Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Your mouth is God's brothel.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
You took a bar mat shot.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
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