That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
zippers are such a cool invention
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
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