I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
My vagina is officially offended.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
