No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
