Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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