Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Randomize
