Just mADE A PArabola og urine
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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