Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
