I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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