Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
