Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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