Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
