Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I should be sponsored by Trojan
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
