I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
