so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
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