So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
This baby is an asshole
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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