i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
