i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
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