Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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