Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize
