super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
