Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
