She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
