my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Randomize
