we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
