no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Semen is not good for contacts.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
