I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
In America we eat man semen.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
