Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
