So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
