hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
