Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Never let your siblings swipe right.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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