Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
