carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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