Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
How's work?
Spinning.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
