I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Randomize
