Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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