grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
