I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
