the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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