I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
