I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
