Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
