Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
