Where are you?
In a non slutty way
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
