yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
