Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
