I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I have already put on my inside pants.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
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