I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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