You made me cry and you don't even care
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
